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Crisis resources

Personal safety

I'm in a situation where someone is hurting me. What do I do?

Get to safety, call 911 if it's an emergency or 1-800-799-7233 (National Domestic Violence Hotline) for confidential support, document what you can, and file for a protective order at your local courthouse - hearings are typically same-day or next-day.

If you are reading this from a safe place: thank you for trusting the internet enough to look. If you are reading this and the person hurting you might see your screen, close this tab and call 1-800-799-7233 (National Domestic Violence Hotline) from a phone they don't have access to, or text START to 88788. Help is real, free, and confidential.

What follows is a calm, practical checklist for the days after you are physically safe. None of it is legal advice. Every step here is meant to give you back a sense of control.

What to do

  1. Step 1

    Get to physical safety first

    If you are in immediate danger, call 911. If you can leave, leave - to a friend's house, a shelter, a hospital, or a hotel. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) can help you find a shelter and a safety plan in your area, 24/7, in 200+ languages.

  2. Step 2

    Document what you can, when you can

    Photos of injuries (with date stamps). Screenshots of threats. Voicemails. Texts. Hospital records. Police report numbers. Save everything to cloud storage the abuser does not have access to (a new Gmail account, a Dropbox the abuser does not know about, even a USB stick at a friend's house). Documentation matters for protective orders, custody, and criminal cases later.

  3. Step 3

    File for a protective order at your local courthouse

    Every state offers emergency protective orders (sometimes called restraining orders or orders of protection) that you can request without a lawyer, usually same-day or next-day. The clerk's office has the forms. The hearing is in front of a judge; the abuser does not have to be present for the initial (ex parte) order. A typical emergency order lasts 14-30 days; a longer-term order is set at a follow-up hearing.

  4. Step 4

    Connect with a victim advocate

    Every district attorney's office has victim advocates whose job is to help you navigate the system. They are free and confidential. They can help with safety planning, court accompaniment, finding housing, finding counseling, and applying for victim's compensation funds.

  5. Step 5

    Plan for the medium term

    Safe Witness (in Advottic) sends a one-tap location-attached SMS to trusted contacts when you press and hold the button. Change passwords, account recovery contacts, and 2FA settings on every account. If you have shared finances, consult with a financial counselor (the hotline can refer you). If kids are involved, talk to a family-law attorney about custody options - most legal aid organizations prioritize these cases.

Common questions

Will the police take my report seriously?

By federal and state law, yes - and law enforcement training has improved dramatically in the last decade. Bring a list of dates, locations, witnesses, and any documentation. Ask for the report number before you leave. If you feel a specific officer is not taking you seriously, you can ask to speak to a supervisor or to the domestic-violence detail.

Do I need a lawyer for a protective order?

No. Protective-order petitions are designed for pro se (self-represented) filers. The clerk's office has the forms. Many local domestic-violence organizations provide free help filling them out. If the abuser hires a lawyer for the follow-up hearing, ask for legal aid - many states fast-track DV cases.

I'm afraid to leave. Is there anyone who can help me plan?

Yes. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) and the Crisis Text Line (text HOME to 741741) are both 24/7, free, and confidential. They specialize in safety planning. If you cannot make a call, the hotline has a chat option at thehotline.org.

What does Advottic do here?

Advottic offers Safe Witness (a press-and-hold button on your watch or in the web app that sends a one-time alert to your trusted contacts with your location), case organization for any related legal matters, and the Find Counsel directory to help you find a family-law or domestic-violence attorney. Advottic is not a law firm and does not provide legal advice. The crisis hotlines above will always be your first call.

Last reviewed: 2026-06-08. This guide is informational only and is not legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your jurisdiction before acting on any of the above.

More guides: advottic.com/guides. Leer en español: advottic.com/es/guias/ayuda-violencia-domestica.